The alarm was shrill and piercing my brain. Working in the security industry has its downside. I was afraid. Red alerts are scary, I had never witnessed something like that before so i asked a worker what is happening they said they did not know and to just get our , but as I was getting out of the building I saw something it was someone holding a knife coming at me people were yelling quick evacuate quick so I ran. This was urgent I had never had this happen to me before.
I really got a sense of panic from your story, Lily. There is some excellent description in it. I particularly liked ‘The alarm was shrill and piercing my brain.’ I also like the way you contrast what is normal with what is happening in your story by saying ‘I had never witnessed something like that before.’ Good use of all the prompt words, too.